Give It A Chance
by ObsoleteViolet
Summary: PART TWO OF MY HP STORY. Rebecca Sherry relives some of her past while her classmates are on vacation. What will this mean for Bekki, and how will the past affect the future?
1. All Hail the Heartbreaker

Give It a Chance

Ah, the second part of my adventure! This part mainly has to do with Rebecca's (ha-ha, I absolutely did not name a character after myself…) past, and how her prior relationship comes to haunt her, in a sense. I don't entirely remember how I got to writing about her high school experiences, but I did.

Honestly, I still don't even like this part myself. But, as usual, it is going somewhere. Slowly, but surely. This part begins where it left off after the last DA meeting before the holidays, and to about Mid-February, I believe. If you haven't read the first part, here's a recap:

_Rebecca Sherry transfers to Hogwarts for her Fifth Year, and her life is turned upside down. Being sorted into Slytherin, she quickly gains many friends and even more enemies. One friend being Harry Potter, who she falls for quickly, while she hides her feelings behind her tough Slytherin skin. This witty and sarcastic girl stirs up trouble, including being the only female to be on the Quidditch team (and just as quickly, kicked off the team), the only girl to stand up to Malfoy, and the girl with the biggest secrets. Where did she come from, and who are her parents? But while these questions go unanswered to the rest of Hogwarts, Rebecca accidentally stumbles upon a certain crush and beautiful Ravenclaw locking lips in the Room of Requirements. And that is where our story picks up._

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER, THOUGH I CAN DREAM.

Rating: T, but might move for language.

Chapter One  
_All Hail The Heartbreaker_

And I ran. I kept running, and I kept running until I had no where to go, until I couldn't feel the air in my lungs, and until I couldn't feel the pain in my heart. I stopped with tears running down my face, breathing heavily, and melted into the wall, collapsing onto the ground. The more I thought about it, the more I cried. I felt like I had been ripped in half. Not even my Slytherin pride could make it through this, as I felt more tears running down my cheeks.

After a minute of so, I heard a noise coming from around the corner. I mustered all the strength in my body to get myself off the floor and hide behind a statue. My back against the wall, I held in my breath. The person continued down the hall and once I couldn't hear them anymore, I took a deep, weeping gasp of air and raced back to my dorm.

I got ready for bed as quietly as I could, trying not to wake up Jade or Pansy, and slowly crept into my sheets and rested my head on my pillow. Then, right there, I cried myself to sleep.

Everything was a blur; I didn't even have a dream. The next two weeks felt like a daze, keeping me secluded in my own dismal attitude. I took nearly every day off, complaining of some kind of sickness. Every time I did go to class, well, I never went to the classes I had with the Gryffindors. I felt ridiculous, hiding away from Harry after the inevitable happened. Everyone knew he was going to get together with Cho, everyone except me apparently. I felt like a five year-old, trying to skip meals and classes just so I wouldn't have to see Harry and think about how crushed I was. **Slytherins don't get crushed, they **_**crush**_. And then suddenly, it was time for the Christmas break.

I barely got any sleep, and I when I woke up, all I could hear was excited chatting followed by clothes being tossed into trunks. I didn't want anything to do with them right now, so I threw my blankets over my head and turned the other way.

As they left the dorm, I pulled my head out from the covers, only to feel the tears welling behind my eyes. And suddenly, picture upon picture flashed in my head from the year before and I nearly gasped. I forgot, then quickly asked myself,

**Why has this happened to me,**

again?


	2. Paranoia, It's Haunting

Chapter Two  
_Paranoia, it's haunting._

It was dark, and I woke up as I normally would. I didn't have a wet pillow from crying. My hair was dry and my chest didn't hurt. I was back in my nightmare. That could only make my life better right now. I looked out the window, as I always do. The snow was falling in big fluffy chunks, and it was just covering the bottom outline of my window. The windows were frozen, with what looked like a small layer of ice on top. I looked at the walls around you. There was no pictures, no posters, no shelves, no fuzzy little animals in the corner, absolutely nothing of any sentimental value whatsoever. Then I looked at myself in the mirror. I saw the younger version of me. I looked directly at my own eyes. What I would do to be back in my old shoes, to be have as care free, to not have to deal with the troubles of high school, and to not have to deal with the constant confrontation of love. Love from peers, from my parents, and from myself. Then I looked at the clock, it was 2:07 am. Like always in my nightmares. Then it began. The screaming started up again, and the yelling started right after. It got louder, and louder, and louder, then.

**Bang,**

A green light filled the room. The first bang had gone, and that wasn't the bad part. The second bang was the worst, which I had tried to avoid in every single one of my nightmares for the last seven years. I believed it was psychological, the way the more I tried to avoid something the more it came at me, specifically in this nightmare. It was like a faulty error in humans, that none can avoid if even the slightest chance comes. Then, as I counted the seconds, it happened. The shattering of glass; the vase had broken. I only knew it was a vase because I had seen this before, and I knew exactly how it ended, and it was the memory that crawled into my thoughts and give chills up my spine. I got up from my bed and reached for the door, when all the sudden.

**Bang.**

The second bang. It kills me to witness the next part of my dream, but I had no choice but to venture on in this conjured up horror. I had fallen backwards right onto my back and the wind is knocked out of me. I was about to get to your feet when I heard screaming. I had had enough. I jumped up and ripped open the door, when I froze.

There, in your house on the second floor were my parents. My mother was standing beside a girl on the ground, weeping. My father was about 10 feet away, with his arm out and in a powerful stance. But then I saw him.

There was a man sprawled out on the floor on his stomach. He was not moving, although his one hand was reaching for the girl on the floor. My parents looked astonished, but then mother shot me a looks of daggers, while she started coming my way. Father got an evil look on his face as he walked over to the man on the floor; his blood visibly boiling under his skin. As soon as my mother was close enough to me, she slapped me right across the face.

"How DARE you show your face! You cannot mind your own business for more than five minutes?" I wince under her words, as my hand rises to the place where she hit me, tears beginning to form in my eyes.

"I'm sorry mother, I heard noises, and-"

"I don't care what you heard, get back into your room before you waste my patience." Turning around to walk back into my room, the woman on the floor began to shriek.

"HOW COULD YOU!? How could you do that to him?" I turned back to see her, as she started to cry harder than ever and put head on her knees. I saw father watching her in disgust, and without warning, words whispered venomously from his lips, and green light blinded me. When I could see again, Mother was pushing me in my room and the woman's brown hair lay against the floor, her body motionless.

I woke in sweat, my chest heaving as I stared up to the canopy of my bed. Kicking off the sheet, I got out of bed and walked around my empty dorm room. The sound of my breathing was the only thing that could be heard, until deep breathes turned into deep sobs.


	3. Feel the Tension, of This Name

Chapter Three  
_Feel The Tension, Of This Name You Never Mention_

I had finally got out of bed, and decided what I was going to do to get these thoughts out of my head. But first, I needed a shower. Getting out of bed was a big step, because I felt my pulsing headache come back and smack me in the head. I could hardly walk, and I was weak. Not just weak. Weak physically, but emotionally as well. Somewhere, I found the strength to get up and walk all the way to the shower. I didn't take off my shorts or t-shirt I use for pajamas, I just stepped into the stall. I turned on the cold water as far as it would go. I was sitting on the floor of the shower, with freezing water falling on me, refreshing me. My shorts and t-shirt were sticking to me, but I didn't care. I couldn't move enough to get them off. It felt like I was having all my memories washed off. So there I was, sitting in a shower, with freezing cold water, in my clothes, inside a deserted bathroom, and probably a half deserted school.

There was a time before, with another guy. I had been crushed by him too; treaded on emotionally, until I found out his secrets. Everyone has secrets, some of them include being a two-timing asshole. Seems I just like those kinds, attracted to the ones who do not care. But there was something more now, something different than last year. This year, I was a Slytherin; I was someone with pride, cruelty, and ignorance laced into my very blood. I could forget being weak, forget being insolent because I had the strength to get up. I may not want to seek revenge just yet, but I have the power to. If revenge could be within my grasp, and I had the need to take it out on Harry, then I would. When that moment would then, I would stand up, hold my head high, and brush my shoulders off. Because that's what Slytherin's do. **Suck it up Rebecca, and get back into the game**.

So I decided to go for a run, free myself up this insufferably weak behaviour, and start fresh. I was dressed in my shorts, but I had put long track pants over top, as it would be suicidal to go outside on shorts. I had a long sleeve shirt and a big, baggy sweater on and pulled on my running shoes, and headed for the door.

There was one person in the whole common room, and they were doing some form of school work and didn't even lift their head as I came slowly through my dorm to the common room. There was about three people walking in the whole school, because most of the people who stayed for Christmas were still sleeping. I walked out through the snowy courtyard and paused; closing my eyes, I took a big breath of air, ready to forget about everything that had happened.


	4. I've Just Been Hating All These Things

Chapter Four  
_Because The Truth, You Know, Is That I Have Just Been Hating All These I do._

I woke up, sweat rolling down my face for the fifth night in a row. That nightmare seemed to want to haunt me; every time it feels more real than the next. Images sharpen, and what seemed like a pane of glass between the dream and me, was now gone, leaving marks in my brain like scars. I remember the first night I had that nightmare, waking up the next morning sweating. It felt so.._real_. But I went to my parents and they comforted me, for the first and last time. My mother hugged me, and told me it would all go away. I always remembered that. But I knew it wouldn't last.

Everything seemed to fly by. Christmas has come and gone. I actually got presents from Mother and Father. It wasn't great, but it was something, that's an improvement. Before I knew it, it was only 2 days until everyone came back from holidays. That was generally not good, speaking in the sense that I'll get to see Malfoy, Jade and Pansy again. But then again, I will get to see Luna and Hermione, but that also means Harry. I tried so hard to forget about him over the holidays, that now with only two days to spare, I didn't quite know what to think about him. All I knew was that I was still angry, beyond angry at him. Just thinking of him and Cho made me angry enough to set me off. So I tried not to think about it anymore, and let time work its magic.

I woke up early on the Sunday before school started, which meant everyone was coming back today. Going to the showers, I found myself in an undeniably good mood; something about realizing how quickly I could get over Harry, and harnessing my inner Slytherin felt _so __**damn**__ good_. After I got out of the shower, I got dressed, humming a song, waiting to try out my new found Slytherin roots on my two favourite roommates. **Oh, being bad was so much fun. **Finally, Pansy's whining voice was coming up the stairs, as I brushed out my hair in front of the mirror.  
"Oh my god, like did you see her dres-" Her voice died down as she saw me, casually slowing down her pace.

"And then what? Oh, never mind." Jade followed Pansy's lead by staring, before both girls walked towards their respective beds, and began unpacking their trunks. As Pansy moved to take her makeup to the washroom we shared, Jade sat on her bed quietly. **Let the games begin**.

"So how was your break?" I asked in a cheerful voice. Jade slowly turned to face me with her eyebrow up high.

"How was my break?" she responded slowly.

"Yes, how was your break? Did you have fun?" I said with a huge smile on my face.

"Umm, yes, it was great," she said even slower, "Thanks for asking." Turning towards her, I smiled, before placing my hairbrush back into my trunk, and heading towards the door. Pansy came out of the washroom and started pulling things out of her trunk.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you. There was a party this Christmas, at the Malfoy's". She turned around to look at me with her head tilted upwards so it gave the illusion that she was looking down on me. Not even that made me upset. So I cranked up the happy meter just to make her angry.

"They did? And how was that?" She turned around and leaned on her bed.

"It was great. I saw your parents there you know, very nice parents". My parents? What would they being doing at the Malfoy's? I guess all vile people know each other somehow.

"Really, never knew that they knew the Malfoy's. Strange."

"Oh, they do. They said Draco and I looked perfect together". I felt like saying why the hell would I care, but I was suddenly preoccupied.

Draco. I still haven't talked to him in a while. I should probably do that. "That's great Pansy, but I have to go, I'll talk to you two later". Pansy smirked and Jade was expressionless. I walked out of the dorm and didn't have to go far to find Malfoy; he was coming into the common room with Crabbe and Goyle. I took the opportunity because he wasn't with the rest of his fools, and walked towards him with a smile on my face, my eyes glaring.

"Hey Draco!" Blaise called. **Just Great**, I thought, as the rest of his buffoons came into the common room, all standing around looking like important people. I continued walking in his direction, but now his back was to me. I took about 10 more steps until I tapped Malfoy on the back. He didn't turn around. So I started to swing my arms back and forth wile snapping my fingers. Finally, conversation in the group stopped as everyone but Malfoy was looking my way, and finally he turned around. Surprised and scared seemed to me the emotions he felt, written all over his face the second he looked at me.  
"B-Bekki, what do you want?" Malfoy said, and suddenly his expression turned to anger, most likely remembering our last exchange after quidditch.

"I wanted to talk to you. If I could, and it won't take too long". His eyes just about popped out of his head.

"Why not?" He looked down at me without a care, and impatient.

"How about we talk in your room, where it's a little quieter?" The others looked skeptical, but he lead the way up to his dorm. As I suspected, there was no one in there, and Malfoy started to unpack some of his things. I wandered over to his bed where he was walking back and forth from moving his things around. "I want to talk about what happened at quidditch, since we have not talked since then."

"There's really nothing to talk about." Malfoy said shortly.

"Yes, well, can you listen to what I think happened? Without interrupting?" Malfoy was about to say something, but I cut him off. "Yes or no?"

"I guess." He snarled, and went back to his trunk, facing away from me.

"Look, I didn't throw the game. You may think that, just because you were angry about losing, and you want your spot back, but that's just too damn bad. And I'm not sleeping with-"

"Scarhead? Really?" Malfoy said rudely, throwing something into his trunk.

"Yes, really. So don't assume that I am." His back still turned away from me, shuffling in his trunk aimlessly. "Malfoy, I'm apologizing, the least you can do is look at me for Christ's sakes!" I didn't mean to yell, but that new found Slytherin glory pulled through the patience. Shocked, Malfoy turned the look at me, leaning on his trunk with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Go on Sherry." Draco's eyes bore into mine as I stood and began to walk towards him.

"I'm sorry things got out of hand, and as much as I hate apologizing because I knew I did nothing wrong, we can't hate each other forever." Reasoning with that fact, he rolled his eyes.

"Nice apology." Malfoy said under his breath, and as I shrugged my shoulders, he let out a laugh. "Whatever, I'm sorry too."

"There, that wasn't too bad, was it?" I asked, heading for the door of his room. Just before I opened the door, he surprised me again, as usual.

"Not bad at all Sherry. Wanna grab lunch together?" I turned to see him smirking in my directly, that devilish smile playing on his lips and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Why not?" I replied, mimicking his response earlier, and he quickly waltzed through the door as I held it open, and we headed to the Great Hall together.

**Good old normal.**


	5. That's What You Get For Falling Again

Chapter Five  
_& thats what you get for falling again, you can never get him out of your head._

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Be- I slammed my hand down on my alarm clock, before I got so annoyed that I threw it at the wall. **Early mornings, they just will not work with me**. I raised my upper body with my elbows and squinted at the bathroom, just in time to see Pansy go in. **Oh yeah, back to normal alright, that little witch**. After I quickly got ready, I rushed down to the Great Hall to get a quick bite to eat, sliding down in the spot beside Malfoy and his goons. Finishing off my last piece of toast, and not paying any attention to the conversation Blaise and Malfoy seemed to be having around me, I saw Cho Chang and her friends walk into the great hall.

My right hand clenched into a fist, as I watched her laughing at her friend's joke. Glaring a hole into her head, I excused myself from the boys, and quickly left the Great Hall without another word. Better to leave, before I do something drastic, like walk over and slam her head into the table. **Why are all Slytherin's so violent?**

Great, what house do I have double potions with? Gryffindor, great. My day just keeps getting better and better. Not only do I have to spend half my damn day with my greasy little friend, but also with Harry. After all my efforts in trying to avoid Harry all day. I let out some of my anger on a stupid second year, but I don't know if I can hold myself back when I see him. Maybe if I just trip him. Easy, but worth it. I'm sure Snape will be right there to laugh, and then take away 10 points from Gryffindor for pure stupidness. But I don't want to get in trouble, and I sure do not want to be expelled, I will just have to continue ignoring him, and fight verbally. That should work, hopefully.

As I headed down to Potions with Jade, I could feel myself shaking, but I don't think Jade noticed. Jade was talking about, well I couldn't really tell you what she was talking about, I wasn't paying attention. I didn't really give a shit, because I kept thinking about how much I hated Harry Potter. As soon as we got to class, I could already tell we were a tad bit late. When we opened the dungeon door, everyone turned our way. As I walked towards my desk, I saw three particular people looking at me. I saw Hermione, smiling. Ron, giving me a nod.

And then Harry. I went to glare, but I couldn't. His hair was all messy as usual, and his emerald eyes were staring into mine, and all the sudden that Slytherin pride in me evaporated, and I was left how I was a few weeks before, weak and sad. **No, you can do this, that asshole kissed Cho, and lead you on**. I glared right at him and continued to the front of the class. I sat down and Snape got out of his seat and stood in front my desk.

"Detention, Sherry. For arriving late to class for the third time this year. Six o'clock, my office." I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, and swiftly nodded. God, this just keeps getting better. Clearing his throat, he stood at the front of the class. "Today, we will be making an advanced memory potion. I hope you can all do this by now. Ingredients are on the board, get to work!" At least Snape's awful attitude never changes. Probably all grumpy about having to have me for detention tonight, I don't blame him. Then he shouldn't have given me the god damn detention. I got up to get the ingredients, and I noticed Harry got up at the same time. I'm so mad, I didn't even think about glaring at him, but completely ignored him. When I got up from the ingredient cupboard, he looked right at me. He had opened his mouth to say something, but I didn't give him the chance to say anything, I just strode off.

"Hand in your flask on my desk and clean up." After an entire two periods making the potion myself, while Jade sat beside me like an imbecile, I had just about had enough of potions, and was ready to get the hell out of here. So I left her there to clean up the mess, and after handing in my flask, quickly left the room. I closed the door behind me and started walking down the hall, towards the Slytherin common room. Then, I heard the Potions door open, and someone was running towards me. The person lightly grabbed my arm and spun me around to face them. It was Harry. "Bekki, can't we just talk-"  
"There is nothing to talk about." I said louder than I meant to, ripping my arm out of his grasp and turning back down the hall. He didn't try to come after me again, and when the rest of the class came out of the classroom, he was forgotten in a sea of students.


	6. To Reverse What We've Done

Chapter Six  
_This isn't the way to reverse what we have done._

After everything that happened, after all this, he wants to talk to me, and thinks I'll just sit there. I'm sorry, but that's not going to happen. Nothing at all would come of that but me crying, and him saying nothing ever happened between me and him, and now he's dating Cho. That, or I would swiftly beat him in the middle of the hallway. I sat on my bed, pulling out some parchment to start on the essay for the memory potion we created. As long as I could channel this anger into something productive, like homework, I should be fine. Not like I'm not getting perfect marks, but it wouldn't pain me to work a little harder. **A constructive outlet, yes, that's what it is**. I began to write, nothing breaking my consentration at all.

I finished my perfect essay, one foot longer than requested, and sat back on my bed, relaxing my back. I had spent so long hunched over writing the stupid thing, I forgot to get comfortable. Speaking of time… I looked over at my alarm clock, and jumped off the bed when the hands read 5:57pm. "Shit!" I yelled, scrambling off the bed, throwing on my shoes, and running out the door. I forgot about my detention entirely, and was now frantically running towards Snape's office as if my life depended on it. I was so close, and nearly out of breath when his office door came into view. I tried stopping, but it was futile; I was slipping backwards onto the floor, my shoes having no traction on the damp dungeon floor. I should have hit the floor, when out of nowhere, someone came around the corner and caught me just as I began to tilt backwards.

Frozen in shock, I kept my eyes closed, almost bracing myself for the fall. That is, until the person chuckled.

"It's alright, you can open your eyes." The second I heard that voice, I jumped out of the arms holding me up, and turned in their direction. "Are you okay?" Harry asked, his arms still held out as if frozen. I couldn't even think of words, what do you say to that? Why is he here? Why is he everywhere?! Suddenly filled with anger, I glared at him and grabbed the handle of the door to Snape's office.

"Yes, I'm fine." I sneered, and pulled open the door.

"Your both late, get in here." Snape's voice boomed out, and Harry followed me in the door, dispite my effort tonot hold it open for him.

"Well, I wouldn't be late if you hadn't given all that work." I meant to say this quietly, but judging by Harry's side laugh, I guessed I said it a little too loud.

"Pardon me?" Taking out my anger with Harry on Snape is probably not a good idea, but it's a gamble I'm willing to make at this point, considering Harry is standing right beside me.

"Oh, nothing." I replied, in a sing-song voice while smiling back at him.

"What I was going to say, before I was rudely interrupted, I already had work with Potter tonight--"

"Yeah," I said sarcastically, looking over to Harry for the first time, "Remedial Potions eh?" Harry looked embarrassed while Snape looked plain angry.

"What myself and Potter do is none of your business, _do I make myself clear?_" I just rolled my eyes.

"Crystal." On that note, I turned around and headed towards the door.

"I'm not done Sherry!" Snape yelled. I was halfway to opening the door, when I wiped around and plastered on a smile.

"You weren't? Strange…"

"If you want another detention, keep opening that insolent mouth of yours." I quickly shout my mouth, and bit my tongue so I wouldn't say anything. Apparently he was not the right person to take this out on.

"You will have your detention on Thursday--"

"Come on!" I couldn't stop myself from commenting on that, but quickly fell silent.

"Rebuttal? Well then, I'll make you a deal. If you get a level 'O' on your Potions report on Wednesday, then you do not have to serve your detention on Thursday. I would certainly love to not spend an hour with you and your _foul attitude_." **Yeah, well same here**.

"Alright, deal. Expect an 'O' level report. Have a great night." I looked away from Snape and looked at Harry. I couldn't help it. "Have fun." I said glaring at him. His never left mine, until I turned towards the door and left as quick as I could.

*

"Good Sherry, very good." It's Wednesday, and I just handed my report to Snape. "If you didn't have a 'knack' for getting in trouble, then you'd be one of my favourite students." **Yeah, your favourite student that edited that stupid report for four hours the last 3 nights, so it'd better be damn good. **"I guess this is an 'O'." He used his quill to mark a big, fat O on my page for Outstanding.

"Thank you, professor." He held my paper in his hands, and when he was about to give it back, he ripped it back.

"You and Granger should get together and have a Know-It-All party." I laughed sarcastically, which I seem to do a lot with him, and grabbed my paper out of his hands. "Well class, yet again, the Slytherins have got over-all better marks then the Gryffindors. You are struggling. If the Gryffindors had done their work," all the Gryffindors were groaning and rolling their eyes, "then maybe you will pass your Potions O.W.L." I went back to my seat, with Jade in the desk beside me. She was basically beaming at her 'A' for 'acceptable'. **Idiot**.

"Sherry, hand out the rest of the reports." What? I'm I your slave now? Whatever, I guess so. I walked up to his desk and grabbed the other reports, starting to look for a name on the parchment. Of course, it's all the Gryffindors. **Lets see here, Dean got a 'A' , not so good, and Parvati got 'P' for poor, that's not too bad. Ha. Harry got a 'D' for dreadful. Snape might as well have given him a 'T' for troll. So much for those 'remedial potions lessons'**.

I walked towards Harry, Hermione and Ron's desks. I placed Harry's on his desk as slowly as I could, which practically meant I threw it on his books. Hermione's was the next on the pile, and she got an 'E' for Exceeds Expectations. As I handed her the report, and she slowly smiled back.

"Could have done better." She seemed to say to herself, before looking back up at me with a smile. "How was your break? I haven't seen you around lately."

"Uh, it was alright. I was just here. How was yo-" Snape's roaring voice came across the classroom.

"I told you to hand things out Sherry, not chit-chat." I looked at him and glared. And I got a glare in return, and trying to think smart, and NOT get another detention, I looked away before it got bad. "I'm sorry, we'll continue this later." I said smiling. Hermione and Ron smiled, and got back to their work. As I went to hand out the rest of the work, I caught Harry's eyes.

Then he smiled at me.  
But I didn't know if I should give it back.


	7. Forget My Name, & I'll Forget It Too

Chapter Seven  
_Forget my name, & I'll forget it too._

I sat on the common room couch, in front of the fire, reading over some History of Magic notes. The weight on the couch shifted and Malfoy shifted to his comfort.

"So, you're smart right?" I closed the book I was reading and looked up.

"What?" I asked, closing my book.

"You're pretty smart, can you help me study for O.?" Giving Malfoy a look of pure confusion and amazement, I began to shake my head.

"Why the hell would you ask me this now?" Crossing my arms over my chest, I turned towards him and his idiotic way of thinking.

"Well, you got an O on your assignment today, and I figured that you would be a good person to be with if I want to get good marks."

"Malfoy, you're already smart. Why do you need me?" I can't believe I just blew up his ego even more, but I was still confused.

"I'm smart enough, but I hate end of term exams. And since they mean so much this year I just though-"

"Yeah, sure. As long as we're still on speaking terms by then." I interrupted with a laugh, and to my amazement, he laughed back. Standing up, I left my book on the table behind the couch and looked back at Malfoy. "I'm going to dinner, wanna come?" Nodding, he followed me out the common room.

We we're just about at the Great Hall, in a conversation about some fifth years inability to shower, and I felt a hand touch my shoulder. I turned around to see who it was, and the grace of God held me back from punching them in the face right there. Cho. Touched me. Oh... I'll touch her, and it won't be pretty. I can't believe she is even looking at me.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" A questioning look came over my face, but I agreed. She pulled me down to an empty hallway a few seconds from the Great Hall. "I-I just wanted to talk about- well about what happened, you know, at the last meeting." **So much for getting that mental image out of my head**. Everyone knew that they liked each other, I just couldn't bring myself to admit that he just liked her, and not me.

"What do you want to talk about?" I said with a mean undertone.

"Well Bekki-- it is Bekki right?" I can't believe her. She is too blind to realize that I ran away for a reason that night, and better yet, she doesn't remember my name. I just glared and nodded my head slowly. "Well, I just, it would be really nice if you didn't tell anyone about what me, me and Harry did. Please. It would mean a lot to me." No, I can't take this. I still haven't thought about this for a good month now. I could feel my eyes starting to fill with tears.

"Yeah, whatever you want." I said quickly, turning and walking away, steeling myself against the tears. Anger bubbled in me, as I headed back to the Great Hall, with Cho about 10 steps behind me. **Now I can't get that picture of Harry and Cho kissing out of my head. This isn't helping**.  
"What did _she_ want?" He asked, glaring behind him and across the Great Hall at the Ravenclaw table.

"Just, nothing. Never mind." I said, taking another big breath and began assembling a plate.

For a split second, I looked over to the Ravenclaw table. Cho was staring at Harry, while giggling with her friends.

But the problem was, that Harry was looking at me, not Cho.


	8. I'm Uneasy, & I'm Weak In the Knees

Chapter Eight  
_I'm uneasy, & I'm weak in the knees. & I'm trying not to breathe.  
Not believing, Not believing you're gone._

Before I knew it, it was the second weekend back, and I had lasted two weeks since the break. The awkwardness between myself and the trio, and now Cho and her friends, has be at an all-time high. Now it was Saturday, and I would finally get to spend some time with Luna. We planned to go have a little _'homework session'_, which we both knew would just be use talking, and we wouldn't get any homework done at all. I grabbed my books from beside my trunk and headed to the library. Luckily, I didn't see Hermione, Ron, Cho, or most of all, Harry on the way there. Once in the library, I went to sit at an empty table and started on my Astronomy homework. As soon as I got in a writing streak, Luna sits down in the seat beside mine. "Sorry, I got a bit held up." I didn't even look at her, I kept my eyes on my work.

"It's alright, I don't mind."

"Are you even going to look at me? Or am I a figment of your imagination now?" She said laughing.

"Oh -- Sorry. I got swept away by my work." I said smiling, as I sat down my quill.

"Don't worry about it, I do that too. So what work do you have?"

After 3 hours of thrilling History, Potions, Astronomy, Transfiguration, and Defense Against the Dark Arts, we had only completed about one third of our homework.

"I can't take this, it's deadly! Especially Defense, what else is there to do but read this sodding book?!" I exclaimed, slamming my book shut.

"No kidding." She said, placing her quill down.

"I can't believe her! I could have learned more about defense practice back at my muggle school. What are we supposed to do if we get attacked by, well Voldemort? Throw the book at him? Bore him to death? Make spit balls from the pages?" Luna was in stitches, but she agreed with me wholeheartedly.

"And not only that, she's awful to everyone!-" Luna added, until I cut in.

"She loves the Slytherins, probably because all their parents bribed them with money. She treats us like her own kids! I just don't say anything. Which is probably why I'm in her good books. Soon there'll be another Educational Decree." I lifted up my parchment and put on a corny accent. "Educational Decree number 1243897, anyone who doesn't open their mouths in my class gets to be my Pansy Ass Side Kick. Or if your name is Draco Malfoy or Pansy Parkinson, you're automatically in that category." By this time, Madam Prince came over to tell Luna to stop laughing. She finally contained herself, only to start right up again when Prince was out of sight. "She's completely mental! But she basically despises the Gryffindors. Only because they are the ones who ask why they are reading, and not 'doing'. I would be asking the same thing if it didn't take me so damn long to read those chapters!" Luna just playfully shook her head at me.

"Harry gets it the worst, you know." I suddenly found it hard to swallow, but covered it up with a sarcastic reply.

"Hmm, does he have a scar on his head?" She laughed, but looked at me again.

"Apparently she gives him detention more than all the other houses COMBINED, and even sent him to McGonagall because he said that 'You-Know-Who' is back."

"Wow," I said, looking down at my sheet, "I had no idea." Luna looked to make sure Prince was bugging another group of students before turning back to me.

"Do you believe him? Do you believe that 'He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named' is back?" Luna asked under her breath.

"Personally, from what people have been saying, and what I know," thinking about what Harry said earlier this year, "and all the followers around, I think he just might be."

*

On the way to dinner, I was heading up the steps directly in front of the Great Hall, when someone called my name.

"Bekki! I was hoping to talk to you." I stopped right on the first step of the stairs, and turned to see a head of bushy hair coming up the stairs.

"Is something wrong?" I asked.

"Oh, well no-- well maybe, I don't know--"

"Spit it out Hermione." I said bluntly, rolling my eyes.

"Have you noticed Harry acting _differently_ lately?" I quickly stopped rolling my eyes, and became completely apathetic.

"No, why?" I said flatly.

"He just seems-- I don't know how else to put this, but 'gloomy'." As she said this, I could feel myself getting more and more pale.

"Weird, why?"

"I don't know, that's why I was asking you." Hermione replied. We slowed down half way up the stairs, as if the complexity of the conversation was stopping our legs from going any fast. _Or maybe that was just me._

"Well, when did he start acting like this?" I feel like a shrink. Bekki the Shrink, has a ring to it.

"Well, it started then night we left for Christmas break, heading home really. He was distant the whole time, and he was just gloomy and sad the whole break."  
My knees gave in and I fell up the stairs. Did I hear that right? Harry was gloomy all break?  
Like me?


	9. I'm So Lonely, I'm So Lonely For Her

Chapter Nine  
_I'm so lonely. I'm so lonely for her._

Harry's point of view.

I did run after her. That night, when she walked in on me and Cho, I ran after Bekki. But I couldn't find her. I was a total git, I can't believe I did that. It's now the second weekend back to school and I've talked to her twice. **Twice!** I shouldn't have been playing with the both of them, and now this is what I get. The girl I don't like anymore is coming with me on Valentines Day, and the girl I like will not even talk to me. It finally clicked when I thought, 'Why am I kissing Cho if she's crying?'. If only I had thought of that a little bit more and stopped. Cho is clearly attached, and will always be attached to Cedric, and is only probably coming to me because I was the last one to see him. I mean, she is a wonderful person, and she's great, but it just not the right time. Even though I was thinking that, part of me said 'Kiss her' and 'So long you've had feelings for Cho', so I did. But then Bekki came in, and I froze. I occurred to me that it should have been Bekki I was kissing, not Cho.

When I got back to Grimmauld Place, I was miserable. What was I going to do? How could I do it? Surely I could not just say 'I'm sorry'. It would have to be better than that. But I tried the best I could come up with. "Bekki, can we talk?", that was my great idea, because i knew it would work. But no. All I got was "There's nothing to talk about". That my own fault. But I know I have to do something. I mean, I LIKE HER for sodding sakes! I can't just go on not talking to her!

Then last Thursday, I saw her come into the Great Hall with Cho right behind her. You might think that its just fate messing with me or something like that, but everyone had already come in, and they were the last two. I can only guess what happened there. But its bad enough that Cho's in this, but I have always really liked Bekki. But I'm not going to be that mean to Cho and just dump her, I mean, I have only like her for two years now. So I said I'd go to Hogsmede with her. I was planning on asking Bekki, but apparently since shes not talking to me, that wasn't happening. But I cant get mad at her, _Cause this is all my fault._

I could have talked to Sirius about it, but I figured he wouldn't have time for me. With Mr. Weasley being injured, and the Order, he just seemed too busy. Besides, I wouldn't want to bring him down, he's always sad with being locked in that house all day anyways. I still haven't told Bekki about certain things. Sure, I told her about Ron's rat being Sirius, but I left out the 'He's-my-Godfather-&-I-would-trust-him-with-my-life'. Besides, all she knows is that he killed 12 people, which in proved to be wrong, still only myself and the Order know that. I have also not told her about the Order. What would anyone think, and beside, Ron and Hermione weren't even supposed to tell _me_ about it. But its not that I don't trust her, because that's completely not the case, she is one of the few people I do trust, Its just that she doesn't need to be in this, not like the Weasley's, or Hermione and her family, or any of my other friends for that matter. So that one day, when we were doing our homework, and we talked about our lives, I left out those important things. I'm sure she noticed, but she didn't push it.

_I know that I'll end up telling her about it some time. Probably sooner then later._

"Harry, what's bothering you?" Hermione, Ron and I were sitting in the common room, doing our homework, or more rather Hermione doing our homework. I could not concentrate at all. My mind was so deep in thought it was too unbearable to think about even starting on the think about starting on the Transfiguration homework of mine. Hermione has been nagging me all day about my attitude.

"Nothing's wrong with me Hermione, so stop asking." I replied. She put her quill down and walked over to my direction, and quickly came into my eyes view.

"I'm not blind Harry. I can clearly see something bothering you, and it's probably the same thing that has been bothering you since Christmas break." She kept looking at me, and almost trying to intimidate my best friend, I stared right back at her.

"You know she's right mate." Ron piped in, probably not willing to get in a fight with me, he lowered himself back onto her chair, trying not to seem forceful.

"There's nothing wrong with me so will you get off my back?" I said rather rudely. Hermione opened her mouth, but then quickly shut it and returned to her seat. She picked up her quill, and continued correcting what looked like Ron's homework. Ron sat in his seat, open mouthed and eyes big as saucers. My eyes fell back to the fire.

"You're going to let it go? Just like that!?" Ron gasped.

"Well, yes. I asked someone else and they said they didn't notice a change in Harry--"

"Who was it?" I asked quickly. The words '_someone else_' intrigued me. Maybe, just maybe it was her. I sat impatiently as she took her time to look away from the work in front of her to look back at me to answer.

"It was Bekki, I asked her before dinner tonight, and she said you were the same."  
It felt like a whole different feeling then the last few weeks. For once, she is talking about me, even mentioning me is great. But then again, she didn't notice a difference? I know for a fact that I'm acting different. I'm being secluded and not talking, but it's because of her. I don't want to bring it up because I know that I won't hear the end of it from Ron and Hermione. Questions would fly, and the next thing I need is to be nagged all night. But no matter how much I tried to help it, I couldn't do anything, I just had to be different.

_I felt so low, because inside me, I knew the percentage of her liking, even talking to me is __Slim to none_


	10. And Don't Let Me Stop You

Chapter Ten  
_& Don't let me stop you, from doing what you wanna do_

Well, I didn't get much sleep last night, but at least it wasn't because of nightmares. It's now early Sunday morning, Jade is snoring, and has been snoring ALL NIGHT, and just enough to be annoying to me as I sat in bed attempting to sleep. I seem to be doing a lot of that lately, not sleeping. I can't get sleep anymore, there's just too much on my mind. And it seems to circle around that one person who I've been trying to get out of my head for a very long time, Harry. Whether I want to hit him, scream at him, talk to him, be near him, he just won't get out of my mind. **It's driving me mad! No, HE'S driving me mad! You know what? I'm going for a run.** I quickly grabbed my stuff and got ready. Once I was done I made sure that I slammed the door loud enough to wake Jade up a bit.

I had run the normal route, the outskirts of the school, basically as far as I could go. I just entered the warm hallways and I went and took a seat right beside the courtyard. It's actually not that bad out after you're outside for an hour. As made my way back to my dorm for a nice hot shower, when I thought about how much has changed since I stated attending Hogwarts. Public school would have killed me, and I finally got a fresh start. I got to re-evaluate every decision that I had made in the past. _I met new friends, conquered my fears, got better grades._ But what worries me most was having to go back to the parents I loath. I won't survive this summer. **I can't go back.**

By the time I shower, dressed, and headed down to the common room, everyone was already at breakfast. I headed down to the Great Hall, enjoying time to myself, when a group of Ravenclaw girls came my way.

"Hey, Sherry!" This is strange, why would they be talking to me. They were stopped just inside the doors of the Great Hall, and they all sat waiting for me.

"Is there something I can help you with?"

"Pansy told us that you had a problem with Cho, is that true?" The small black haired on asked, hands on her hips. I laughed, crossing my arms over my chest.

"You can't be serious? What are we, five years old? Grow up." I went to walk past them, on the way to the Slytherin table, and the tall blonde one held her arm out to stop me.

"She told us it was about Harry Potter." That name, following me around like a disease. I pushed her arm back, and turned to face her.

"Don't touch me."

"Well, is it true?" I glared at her, and looked down the Ravenclaw table for Cho. Conveniently, she wasn't there. Looking back at the blonde, I sneered.

"Even if it was, I don't see how that is any of your business." The brown haired girl laughed, and stepped in front of the others to face me.

"People like Harry Potter don't go for girls like you. So don't kid yourself, and leave Cho alone. You would be kidding yourself if you thought you had a chance with someone like Potter." I was just about to push her, when hands grabbed me from behind and held me back.

"What's going on here?" Draco's voice came from beside me, staring the girls down. Blaise, who was apparently holding me back, don't me to calm down, and letting go of me, came to stand on the opposite side of me. Looking at Draco, and back at the girls, I turned around to the Slytherin table to see Pansy and Jade sitting together smirking. Without another thought, I calmly walked to the table, got to the spot across from them and slammed my hands down on the table. Jade jumped back, while Pansy held her head high. I watched her, and dropping my voice to a whisper, bent across the table.

"Don't you dare pull another stunt like this again, or next time, I won't hold back. That's a threat; try me, if you don't think I'll go through with it." Pansy's eyes widened, but she kept her head held high. Furious, I turned back around, past Draco and Blaise and faced the group of girls once again. With a final glare, I pushed past them and left the Great Hall.

I stomped to the dungeons, steam practically coming out of my ears. How dare Pansy, she's such a stupid bitch! Stopping in an empty hallway, my fists clenched, I nearly screamed. I can't go back to the dorm, I need to go somewhere where they can't find me, so I won't beat Pansy senseless when I see her. Finally, it came to me, and I turned and headed in the opposite direction.


	11. No One Can Find The Rewind Button, Girl

Chapter Eleven  
_No one can find the rewind button girl; So cradle your head in your hands._

I need to get away. I need to get away. One .. Two .. Three. I tried to open the door behind the tapestry, and it finally opened. I decided to come to the Room of Requirements, because not too many people know about this place, and I could finally be alone. "Finally." I said out loud, entering into the room quickly so I would not be seen. It looked identical to the room where our DA meetings took place, except a large couch sat in the middle and the fire place was lit, and a large bookshelf sat in the room. Picking on of the books from the selection, I went back to the couch, and while it took me a minute to get comfortable, I opened my book to page one. And with that, I began to read:

_"It was 7 minutes after midnight. The dog was lying"_ --

I can't possibly concentrate on this right now. I need to do… something. I stood up and started to pace.

**PFH**

My head turned quickly to about 5 feet behind me and 2 feet below. A very small and skinny house elf was staring at me and had its hands behind its back.

"What are you doing here?!" I yelled.

"Dobby is sorry, but Dobby was cleaning the dorms by order, and Dobby couldn't help but open the window for the owl. Dobby thought it looked important, so Dobby came to give it to you."

"Did you open the letter?! **Did you go through my private information?!**" The petite house elf took another step backwards.

"NO! Dobby would never do such a thing as that! Dobby just brought it to you." He took its hands from behind its back and pushed them in my direction with a small letter. I stared it down, then stomped towards it and snatched the letter away from it.

"Now leave!"

"Dobby is truly sorry ma'am, Dobby just--"

"I SAID LEAVE!" And with the snap of his fingers, he was gone.

I gazed down towards the letter and it said:

_Rebecca Sherry  
Hogwarts  
OPEN ASAP._

I knew that hand-writing, and that can never be good. Nothing is ever good is my mother it sending me a letter. I never get letters. As I slowly began to rip open the envelope, I thought of all the horrible outcomes. What if they really are disowning me? Where would I go? What if I have to leave Hogwarts? Well, I could do with that right now, but I would have to live with them and I can't do that. In slow motion I read the letter:

_Since you are now going to be going to Hogwarts, we have decided to move back to Europe. Maybe now you can follow your Slytherin routes and start to cooperate with proper friends. Your father and I have took the liberty of buying you some new clothing, and decorating your bedroom. I would not like for our good friends to think we are poor, now would we? I ensure that you will have made the proper decision and started to become companions with the Malfoy's, the Parkinson's, and the Rennison's.  
- Adrienne_

Great, that just freaking great. Could my life actually get any better? Honestly? Of course I could rebel to all this, but get cursed in every direction with my attitude. I started to pace once more, throwing the letter on the couch.

"How dare she! How dare they!?" Alright, need to calm down. Let's try reading again.

_The dog was lying on the grass in the middle of the lawn in front of house. It's eyes"_ --

No, definitely not working. I furiously throw my book on the ground and jumped out of my seat. I was filled with so much rage and anger right now I could explode. I was about to leave when the door opened.


	12. I Feel The Sting Of Uncertainty

Chapter Twelve  
_Sometimes, I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear_

I nearly screamed when his face appeared in the doorway, but I clenched my fists and looked towards the ceiling.  
"Oh god, not now." I groaned, as Harry watched looking confused. As he took steps towards me, his eyes concerned, I grew even more angry. "How did you even now I was here?!" I yelled, but he didn't back down.

"I just saw what happened in the Great Hall, and figured you would want to be somewhere on your own."

"Of course you did," I scoffed, turning away from him, "You always seem to know where I am."  
"Please Bekki, I just want to help." I began to pace once more, as he got closer and closer to me.  
"Help?! What makes you think I need help?!" I said laughing sarcastically. **God, help from HIM was the last thing I needed**.  
"Bekki, that's what friends do." He said, bucking up that Gryffindor courage, and looking me square in the eyes. The green caught me off guard again, but did nothing but bring back memories of him and Cho. I stopped pace, and faced him with my hands on my hips.  
"Friends? Yeah, friends Harry. I guess that's what you call making out with Cho right?" I could feel the tears behind my eyes, but refused to cry in front of him. I was stronger than this, and I knew it.  
"Bekki, let me explain-" I cut him off, and took an angry step towards him.  
"No, let me!" I said impatiently. "I don't know whose problem it is, but I must be some kind of idiot. A rather big one at that, because-"  
"Bekki, that wasn't supposed to happen, you came in at a bad time." My jaw dropped, and another wave of anger went through me like a bullet.  
"Oh, I see!" I said, throwing my arms in the air. "So if I had of come in before that it would have been great?!If I had of just come in when you weren't kissing, and never figured it out, everything would have been wonderful?!" I shook my head at him, tears threatening to run. "You wouldn't understand, because I'm clearly seeing different things than you."  
"Bekki, I know you probably hate me right now-" I shook my head, and my voice grew even louder.  
"Harry! I'm seeing different things than you because-"  
"You're not though-"  
"Harry! I like you! Apparently I'm seeing different things than you because you like Cho, not me!"

Oh god. I just yelled that to him, oh no. I like Harry? Oh god, I like Harry. I like him more than ever. I let out a deep breath, and my shoulders fell forwards. I looked back up at him, and he looked absolutely shocked, looking over at me in silence. God, I shouldn't have said that. Letting out another breath, I walked past him to go to the door.  
"Rebecca, wait." His hand grabbed mine, but I pulled it back.

"Harry, just forget it."

"No, Rebecca." Harry grabbed my arm, and lightly turned me around. My eyes watered as I looked at Harry, and stopped struggling against his grip. "I thought you hated me?" He asked, his voice soft, as he got closer to me.

"I thought I hated you too." I laughed softly, before looking up at him. "What you did, Harry, it hurt."

"I know, I was an idiot." He said laughing. He brought his hand up, resting his palm against my cheek. Letting out a sigh, Harry continued. "I don't know what I was thinking, but what I do know is how miserable I've been for the past few weeks. I just want you to know that I'm sorry, so sorry. And if it isn't obvious by now, I like you; I've liked you since I met you. And if there is anything I can do to make up for this then-"

Bringing my hands and wrapping them around his neck, I pushed my lips onto his. For a moment, he stumbled on the concept that I was actually kissing him, but then his arms found their way around me.

"Well then, that answers that question." Harry said when I backed away. Blush rose to his cheeks, but his smile was almost ear to ear. I was smiling too, and for a few minutes, forgot all about these stupid things going on around me.

"Just do me a favour?" I asked, pulling him close to me and resting my head on his chest.

"Sure, what?"

"Try not to kissing other people, alright?" I laughed, as his arms went around me and held me close.

"I don't think that will happen again, ever."

We sat on the couch, making up for lost time. I told him about Pansy, Draco, and the letter from my Mother. He told me about Cho, Christmas break, and anything else he could think of.

"Speaking of Valentine's Day," Harry said, going red once more, "I said I'd go with Cho, just to break things up. I hope you're not mad." I reached over and kissed him once more, before sitting back on the couch.

"That's fine. As long as it's breaking things up, then I endorse it fully. Just don't expect me to go with Draco or something." Harry eyes hardened at Malfoy's name, and I put my hands in the air. "Just kidding!"

"Oh, alright." Harry let out a breath, and but laughed along with me. When the laughing died, I looked at him seriously.

"I guess you're thinking the same thing that I am; that this thing," I said, pointing between Harry and I, "Has to stay a secret?" He nodded, but looked sincere.

"I think that would be the best, because I don't want your housemates replaying that quidditch fight anytime soon."

"And I don't want any of my housemates making you the new Slytherin punching bag." I said, shaking my head. Smirking, I leaned forwards, my hands on his chest, pushing my body on his. "Besides," I whispered, beside his ear, "the sneaking around is kind of sexy."  
"I couldn't agree more." Harry said, before pushing his lips on mine once more.


End file.
